myself and not public

Part 7 Part 7 and nothing has changed till today, nothing is important to people I can understand if people want to live well but I just can’t accept this total opportunism and that is exactly what the people around me, my relatives, my grandmother, my parents expected me to do: not to rebel, to integrate without questioning maybe, one would say, it’s easy to talk like this living in Europe these people are right but even in Europe, the people are the same here in Europe, they would have the possibility to rebel and ask questions, but they don’t do it sometimes, I feel very lonely among all these opportunists x there in the mountains, I caught fish in the small lake, made a kind of syrup of wild oranges sometimes, I went on excursions to the other valleys around there was an old orange tree in the next valley the branches of an orange tree have to be cut regularly, otherwise there is too mu...

Part 6 in the evening when the stars were up, I sat near my campfire during the day, I went fishing and collected wood for the campfire in general, the south of Spain is very dry the nature is grey and yellow but at the end of February and the beginning of March, it rains for 3 weeks I could hardly leave my cave but then, the sun came out and everything went green, full of flowers, a thousand colours x in that valley, I last remembered some events of my childhood and then closed it up at the age of 3 or 4, I had a bicycle for toddlers with helping wheels the other boys and girls in the neighbourhood told me to take the helping wheels off because they thought I could do without them I was not quite convinced of it but after a certain time, the screws loosened and when I drove to the left or right, the wheels were pushed up more and more into the air so that they didn’t touch the ground any mor...

Part 5 finally my eighteenth birthday arrived I did not have much money, only for 1 and a half month if I were to spend it only on food a last party was organized which succeeded rather chaotic then, I stood on the side of the highway and went away by hitchhiking it was a great feeling, the open car window the wind running through my hair and the most important: no concrete plans at all “now” and only “now” was important this feeling has never left me since x some might think it’s easy for a European to talk like this because Europe is rich and it’s nearly impossible to starve of hunger these people are right it’s a bit like Greek gods participating in battle of humans, those gods couldn’t die, so it was easy for them to be brave it’s more a bit like moving out of a situation, which somebody is used to x my money was fast spent and at first, I was a bit agitated about what to do...

Part 4 these were my first experiences in the big world and I was fascinated however, I was still just 17 years old and a tourist a year later, I was going to leave my home country for good I didn’t know that at that time but something had happened in me a feeling, which has not left me ever since for my classmates, their way of life was clear: school, university, military service, work, marriage, children, retire and die I knew I would choose another way and not be bored X right at the beginning of me arriving in Nice, my whole money was stolen of course, I rejected the idea of going home or calling home to send me some money I was much too proud for it some elder rucksack tourists, who, I suppose, have had such kind of experience before, showed me how to survive I had no money in my pockets but I was never hungry from this point of view, Europe is a wonderful place you c...